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Five years ago my wife, Gina, and I began praying together regularly. For the first 15 years of our marriage, we seldom prayed together. We sure tried! We followed the typical morning devotions approach, but it always ended in failure for two reasons: Our schedules vary every day. We're both self-employed and we have three kids, so it's hard to set a concrete time for anything. Plus, I'm a night owl and Gina is an early riser. Prayer times felt mechanical. First we'd read our devotional, then she prayed, then I prayed. It felt more like a religious exercise than genuine communication with the Father. The breakthrough came one day while we were discussing a challenge we faced. I started praying right then amid our conversation, and Gina followed my lead. No heads bowed. No eyes closed. No long petitions to God. The whole thing took less than 30 seconds. It was radical and refreshing. Soon, prayer spread like a virus through our days. Our prayers were quick and familiar. God became a third party in many a conversation. Gina and I still kneel at our bedside and bring our petitions to God. In times of distress we open the Scriptures and pray at length, eyes closed and heads bowed. But way more often we pray to God with simple, brief sentences while going through our days. The bottom line? We pray a lot more. Our relationship with God and each other has never been stronger. Here are a few things we've learned that we hope will benefit your prayer life with your spouse. Keep prayers real, not religions. Declare war on "prayerspeak." This is the special religious talk that longtime church goers use when they pray. It's lengthy and eloquent—like speeches to God. Don't pray churchy monologues. Your prayers should sound more like a conversation between three friends: "God, this makes me so mad!" "Father, I love my new job. Thanks." "Jesus, there's this guy at work who's driving me nuts." Let communication flow freely. Prayer between spouses is dialogue between husband, wife and God. Also, try praying while you're doing something else, such as walking or driving. Are you ready to pray with your spouse? Show her/him this article, then together invite Jesus into your conversations. You'll soon learn, like 1 Thessalonians 5:17 says, to pray without ceasing.
David Murrow is the director of Church for Men, an organization helping churches get hack their missing men.